Transfixed
by Celestinasong
Summary: Severus is unable to move on from the stains of his past. The only hope of breaking free is with the help of those he hates the most.
1. Chapter 1

Transfixed Chapter 1

by Chezaswulf

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: I am writing for fun so if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Severus Snape burned his finger as he reached for a boiling hot glass beaker containing a special new potion for his class. It was the third accident he'd had since that morning and he was looking at the new cuts and scrapes lining his hand. He couldn't deny that he had not been working as carefully as usual, especially with his throbbing ring finger now pounding because of his carelessness. Suddenly he realized that he was starving, and having skipped breakfast he was almost lightheaded from hunger.

He glanced at his pocket watch, a gift given him by his mother. It was her father's; a wizard well known for creating several curses, and even published a book about them. Severus' own father would have been enraged and broken the watch if he had ever seen it, because it had a tiny voice that frequently squeaked out the time and helpful reminders. Tobias had not been kind when it came to a power he could never possess himself. Severus had the watch now only because of his skill at hiding things without the aid of magic.

Memories of his mother were mostly painful, so he carefully brushed them aside, and tried to distract himself with his concoction. He cut up the ingredients carefully and then put them in. It was going well until he accidentally put too much witch hazel in, and it exploded, and bubbled over in fuzzy pink foam. The smell was also very strong. Finally he decided to go and eat something before he destroyed his entire office.

With a sigh he pushed away from his desk and stood up. His clothes were black so most of the mess was hard to see, which he was grateful for. He grabbed his wizard cloak to warm him from the cold chill of the Hogwarts hallways, and made his way out of his classroom and down the hall. It was already Halloween, and the weather had taken a sharp turn toward winter.

His skin was chilled, and he glanced outside to see that rain had begun to fall. The cloak was not warm enough, and it hung loosely around him, feeling bigger than usual. A gust of wind blew down the hall and through his clothes from the cracks in the old windows, and he shivered. Somehow since Lilly had died time had slowed to a agonizing crawl, and it gave him too much time to think and mull over his life long regrets. His mother's sad story reflected his own, and he mourned her now as he did Lilly.

After Lilly had begun dating James, Severus had turned his back on her and the good things she represented, and walked the line between darkness and pure evil. He was happy there, with powerful friends who wanted recognition and with only pride to keep them going. He had not thought his pride false, and his mission wrong, not until Lilly had been destroyed by it.

Tom Riddle had special knack for seducing people who were vulnerable, and making friends with the friendless. It was his need to be great that pulled Severus along. So he had allowed himself to be seduced, and it had left him alone and broken.

Dumbledore had been very surprised to see him asking for help, and turning his back on the Dark Lord. He thought he could save her but he was wrong. So he turned to the good side when he had nothing else left to give. Then Harry had started school that September, without a single clue of who he was or the past that made him what he was. He had no idea he was even a wizard until he came to school, which Severus found comical, even insulting. The boy had an attitude that could only be likened to that of Severus' worst enemy. When the Dark Lord had gone to kill James Potter, Severus could only feel relief. That feeling had been short lived.

Knowing what he knew, Severus could not forgive Harry. The boy often looked at him with an innocent confusion that only made it worse. He had not done anything wrong, except to be born, but Severus had a hatred already embedded in his heart.

Severus leaned against the stone wall, feeling hot and cold all at once, and glared out at the falling rain. He stood there for a long time, feeling dizzy.

"Severus?" Dumbledore's voice was soft even in the deep halls.

Severus turned to look, peering over his shoulder to where he heard the man approaching.

"Are you feeling sick, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, walking up to him in billowing robes. His glasses glinted with the glow of the candle beside them.

"I'm fine. Just hungry. Have you eaten?" Severus asked, his stomach now rumbling.

"I was just on my way to the Great Hall for some supper. Let's go together shall we?" Dumbledore put out a hand of support for him as well as an invitation.

"…Yes," Severus took Dumbledore's arm as if to help the older man instead of accepting his support. It was easier to give it, that way. If Dumbledore noticed the switch he didn't show it, but simply allowed himself to be led.

The Great Hall was decorated in orange and black, with large pumpkins and falling leaves that disappeared as they neared the tables. Halloween was a tricky time for him, reminding him of past mischief and mayhem. He had been a target of the mischief for a long time, until finally he had become a Death Eater. Severus had always struggled with his desires for the Dark Arts, and wanting to be great. At Hogwarts he was different from the people who had always been in the Order of Pheonix and working with Dumbledore to protect others. He was a wolf among sheep, and it was a strange thing to be teaching when he was really a murderer and a fiend.

The children were laughing loudly, and Severus glanced around to see several girls dressed in the boy's uniform, their hair magicked to look like a boy. Then someone ran into him and he glared down at a petite girl with long red hair and green eyes. It was a terrible shock of deija vu, as she was the exact image of Lilly Potter. Then he blinked and looked again.

That was no girl.

"Harry!" Ronald Weasley charged up the aisle with a poorly placed blond wig on his head. Clearly fate was playing another cruel joke on him.

"What marvelous costumes this year, wouldn't you say so Severus?" Dumbledore said kindly, and then guided Severus away with cheerful blue eyes. He must have seen Severus' face, because he offered Severus the first pick of his favorite dish.

"I don't know if I can do this," Severus muttered, staring down at his plate.

Dumbledore had already turned to speak to Hagrid about the pie, but Snape's eyes were already pulled up to search out the long red hair again. He spotted an orange streak and saw two Weasley twins. Then he saw the red wig on the floor and Harry arguing with the other boys, a blush on his cheeks that made his green eyes brighter. Ron scooped up the red wig and tried to force it back on Harry's head dislodging his own wig in the process. The girls around them were laughing at their argument. Severus's food fell onto his plate, and he hurriedly scooped it back up with his fork.

Halloween was a holiday for tricking people, and he had been given a very nasty trick. He was livid inside, but had to swallow it, since he couldn't say anything about it to anybody else. His ghost was not meant to come back to him, and for a moment he had seen her face and she was there as he remembered her. Severus ate without really tasting the food in his mouth. He had almost lost his appetite.

"More potatoes Severus?" Dumbledore asked, scooping up three large ones and giving them to him before he could stand up and excuse himself. It was a not so subtle hint that he had to eat more, and he submitted to Dumbledore as he always did. They were salty and greasy, and made him feel tired. Dumbledore was already eating a second piece of pie, and laughing fondly at the children's games nearby.

Without speaking he rose, and nodded to the other teachers, then took his leave. The students were running around. Nobody tried to get them in order, and he was not going to be bothered with them tonight.

He made his way out the door and tried to forget the image of wide green eyes and long red hair that haunted him more vividly than usual.

End of Chapter One.


	2. Chapter 2

Transfixed Chapter 2

by Chezaswulf

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: I just finished reading The Deathly Hallows and it was so good, and it made me want to write again.

The school halls at night were daunting for a student, Severus could remember, and they seemed to echo deeper in the silence. The laughter bouncing off the sunlit stones in the afternoon became mournful and distant in the shadows. Severus enjoyed patrolling the dark corridors alone at night, because there were few students who dared to venture out this late. When they did try to go out while he was on watch they would regret doing it immediately. Many times he volunteered to walk the halls because it gave him a purpose, something to do. The halls spoke of his initial enjoyment of the school, before the enemy lines were drawn. He could see the same lines being drawn in the incoming freshman as well. The same problems still existed, and he couldn't help but take sides. The Slitheryns were always a strange breed, and the other houses always seemed too distant for someone like Severus, or just too dull.

He walked like he did every night, and then suddenly he paused for no apparent reason. Instinctively he knew someone was wandering around but he couldn't be positive, so he began searching the halls for whoever it was. He wasn't very worried, because most students would be scared back off to their dorms, and most teachers wouldn't be bothered hiding. After several sweeps around the halls with no results he stopped searching.

His mind and body were exhausted from his fast paced search, which was good, because maybe his thoughts would be blissfully empty and he would get a good nights rest. He was somehow thinking about Lilly more than ever now that her son was there. Protecting him was like protecting her; something he had not been able to do when she was alive. He knew that his pining was useless, and he tried to stop, but his romantic side had always been a distorted thing at best, not fully formed, but for some reason strong enough to hold onto the one person he had always cared about. Severus never got to see any examples of a loving relationship during his youth, thanks to his father's cowardly abuse of a petite witch who loved him. Some of the Slitheryn girls had admired him, and one even managed to get close to him. He had allowed her advances but it was not what he really wanted, and in the end she moved on. As he drifted to sleep, he allowed the memory of the young witch he had seen in the muggle park long ago drift into his mind's eye once again, haunting him forever as a girl he had loved and hated.

* * *

Hogwarts had been different back then, a little bit bigger, a little bit more grand and mysterious to a child like Severus. His mother had taken him to the train station as close to the arrival of the train as possible so she could return home and prepare dinner for her husband. She had a weak constitution, and a defeated look in her eye like she deserved to be hit. At eleven Severus thought she was the smartest person in the world, and she tried to dote on him with a listening ear. He had showed her all the spells and potions he could do, showing off and feeling a deep satisfaction when she smiled a dark, proud smile. Inside he wondered if one day he might use his power to kill Tobias, the man who hurt her, hurt them both. He wanted to but knew that he would never be able to do it, because he also had that defeated look.

The first experience in Hogwarts was being sorted away from Lilly. However when she asked him why later, he told her. He was his mother's son after all. She understood, but he did feel regretful and resentful that she had not been sorted in with him either. He didn't want to know why.

Severus was an only child, and not used to how nasty other children could be. He was afraid of them, and somehow they sensed it. There were many strong and confident wizards in Hogwarts, but not all of them were loners like he was. They moved in packs and targeted the weak, and even then Severus wanted revenge on those people. Of course if he had known then what he knew now, defending himself would have been like breathing. All that it really took was confidence. Something he had never had, despite how skillfully he performed spells in private.

He was sitting alone, white faced, almost crying. His hair was a mess, and he had a huge throbbing pain on the back of his head where Sirius Black had attacked him, knocking him out. He had told a teacher what had happened to him the other day when James and Sirius had played their nasty game with him, and then today they decided to get revenge for their detention. He was so livid that he couldn't speak to Lilly when she tried to find out what had happened. She said if he was in such a snit she wouldn't help him feel better. In the end he watched her hair fly as she walked away.

Being in the classrooms were the safest place to be for Severus. He didn't hate learning, he thrilled at at actually, and he didn't understand the people who didn't do their own homework or even copied off of eachother. To him it was just cheapening the experience and dulling your mind. Learning had become his passion, and he embraced it alone.

* * *

Severus woke up in a bad humor, so mad that he had allowed that memory to come up on him while he was barely awake. The morning was there too soon, and he was paler and groggier than usual. His class that morning was with Griffindor, and he wondered how well they would do with his most difficult potion that day. That thought made him brighten, and he smiled all during breakfast.

"You're looking well Severus. I hope you remember it's Griffindor's turn to practice on the Quidditch field today," Minerva reminded him.

She was very delicate looking, but looks were deceiving. He had seen her magic and it wasn't brute strength, but pure nerve and prowess. Somebody not to cross, no matter how confident he was feeling. Yet she was still a Griffindor, and he didn't like her.

"Yes of course. It looks like rain today, how unfortunate for them," Severus remarked, glancing up, pointedly at the dark clouds he could see gathering through the magicked ceiling of the Great Hall.

She pursed her lips and returned to her meal, stealing glancing at the rain clouds every so often. It almost made him cackle madly at her, but no. He was not a child, however immature their bickering could be. She was his esteemed fellow faculty member, and they had to get along. Dumbledore frowned at him from the other side of the table, and Severus tried to recover a stern expression. Glancing around he noticed the small freshman Griffindor, laughing loudly, and then glanced at the Slitheryn group. They were a less cheerful crowd in general, and always seemed to be making trouble, even when they weren't. It was the Griffindors that made the most trouble but got away with it, because they were seen as the heros of Hogwarts. He could hardly tolerate their strutting around like peacocks, showing off their feathers.

Next to him Professor Quirrel was stuttering obnoxiously at Dumbledore who turned to look oddly at him. He wondered what that look might mean, but shrugged. If the older wizard was going to tell him it would be in his own time. He had learned that from the moment he joined forces with the man. Dumbledore always had a plan and for his own "good" he never told Severus all there was to know about what was happening with Harry.

Severus swept from the room, feeling somewhat curious and yet a little bit annoyed. His class was partly assembled and some of them looked at him with nervous anticipation of what he might have them do. He rolled his eyes with his back to them, like he could even say what he really wanted to them, which was that they were little snots. None of them understood his lessons half as much as he thought they should, and none of them took the extra time to understand potions. It was truly frustrating to be a teacher. The son of Lucious Malfoy always paid close attention, and it reminded Severus of his father. The images of his fellow Death Eater in his mind were intermingled, of them killing together, and standing side by side in masks and cloaks.

"Professor! The potion is smoking..." A girl screeched from the other side of the room.

Snape blinked at her, and saw the evidence that indeed her potion was not done properly, and it had become a very bright orange color as opposed to the light blue that it was supposed to be.

He clear away the mess, ignoring the fact that if she had not been from Slitheryn he would have failed her for the day. Of course some of the Griffindors were watching this interaction with angry expressions, and he saw Harry watching as well. His expression was of a small child that new injustices such as this as an every day occurrence and seemed to simply accept it as a fact of life. He turned away and he and his friends continued to struggle with their own messy concoctions. If it had been Lilly she would have been so mad she would not have stopped from letting the entire school know of this injustice. James would have messed with it, stolen from him or he would have used his own spells against him as revenge. It was infuriating to see how easily their son simply ignored it, letting it slide off his shoulders as cool as you please, as if he was unaffected. Severus was a little disappointed, and wondered how far Harry could be pushed.

End of Chapter 2.


	3. Chapter 3

Transfixed

by Chezaswulf

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Author's Comments: Working part time for the summer and trying to save money for school! Ahh I love going to school and not working^.^

Severus was no longer the naive bleeding heart he had once been, but he seemed to be surrounded by people who were just like he used to be. He knew that putting your heart on your sleeve only got you one thing, and that was vulnerability. He had been forced to grow up when he met the man who used him to kill his first love, and he had been forced to sit back as she was killed. The world had an ironic way of going in circles, repeating history, and making people pay for their mistakes. Now he was paying, by protecting the child he had once doomed to death. The child of James Potter, his enemy, who he now watched closely, but undetected as he could to insure his continuation of Lilly's life through his. The boy didn't appreciate subtly or symbolism, and he didn't know that Severus was concerned for his safety perhaps as much if not more so than Dumbledore himself. Not for the same reasons of course.

Severus smiled plastically, mock politely at Luscious Malfoy as he swept into Hogwarts with his usual airs, making demands as usual and when they didn't go through he retreated again. Severus admired the man's gaul, and knew that they were of a similar breed; cowards. Though he would never admit it. Their own combined lust for power had been their downfall, but they had not lost as much as the Dark Lord had. Severus scratched his arm, distracted, and forced himself to stop. Luscious and he had been his right hand men, arrogant, powerful, and hungry for more. They bit off more than they could chew with the Potter family evidently. Now Severus had to deal with the apparently un-killable little boy who had somehow through sheer dumb luck, lived.

The day was nearly over, and Severus stood outside of Dumbledore's office, pacing. His time was precious to him, but he was always ready to help Dumbledore. The man was strong, even more than the Dark Lord. He had a power that resonated in the air when he walked, and his eyes were sharp, and alive with his deep knowledge of things that even Severus could not know. His mind whirred with questions about why Luscious had been there, and what was going on around the school.

"Severus?" Albus Dumbledore called from the stairs of his office. Severus stopped walking and turned to climb the stone stairs quickly.

Dumbledore was looking out the window, down to the forest, and thinking deeply. After several moments he turned around and sat at his desk. He glanced at Severus and seemed to come to a decision.

"Did you happen to notice any disturbances while you were walking last night Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"Last night... I was making the rounds, and I didn't see anyone walking about. But I thought I heard someone. When I checked they were already gone. That was all that happened." Severus had a strange anticipation inside his gut, and he could see something was going to happen.

"Last night Argus Filch discovered dead animals outside of the castle, sometime around two in the morning. The animals were completely drained of blood, and their bodies were ripped apart as though by some unimaginable force. Some brute strength would be needed to do that much damage to a blast ended newt and two dog sized spiders..." Dumbledore said slowly.

"I went to bed earlier than that. Around one o' clock..." Severus was deeply disturbed by this news. He looked at the headmaster for answers.

"I think it may have something to do with Professor Quirrel. Please keep an eye on him Severus." Dumbledore sighed, his eyebrows knit together, almost touching.

"Quirrel? Ok. I will watch him," Severus thought of that man as a pathetic excuse for a wizard, but now he wondered what the man could have done or said to cause suspicion. He didn't think the man would be hard to pressure for information, but he would have to wait and see.

"Be on your guard Severus," Dumbledore said gravely.

"I will, and I can watch the halls later if necessary," Severus agreed.

"Don't let anyone know about this for now. We have to keep calm in the school until we know who is responsible," Dumbledore warned.

* * *

Severus was very unnerved after hearing about the animals strewn around Hogwarts land. It was an invasion that he was almost unable to accept. He wasn't just a teacher, he lived there, and it was his to protect. The students could go home to their families, but this was Severus's family. How could this have happened right under their noses?

That night Severus prepared himself to stand guard. If any intruder was in the castle Severus would know immediately. He had set up some magical triggers that would alert him should anyone pass them. However for hours he waited and waited and there was no sign of anybody. Around three in the morning he had just decided to quit, when he heard a shout. It was so distant that he had to stop and strain his ears for it. The sound was coming from outside, but as suddenly as the shouting started, it was stifled. The complete silence that followed was too loud, and Severus ran out of the castle through a passageway that allowed him to get to where he had heard the noise behind the castle near Hagrid's small house.

There were shadows moving and Severus lifted his wand.

"Lumos!"

The sight of two large filthy human-like creatures crouching down over a small body made his stomach drop. Furious, Severus attacked, throwing two spells rapid fire silently. They flew back, hitting the ground, then fast as lightening got up. The two were facing him now, blood running down their claw-like hands, eyes glowing red in the dark. They were vampires, and the smell of blood had put them in a frenzy.

The child lay completely still at their feet and he still couldn't see who it was. Hagrid's light came on as he heard the scuffle and he ran out the door.

"Harry!" Severus didn't take his eyes off of the vampires, but he flinched.

The two monstrous creatures separated, one attacking Severus straight on, the other running off to the side. He couldn't see where the second went because he had to deal with the first one. With a sweep of his wand he attacked.

"Sectum Sempra!

The vampire was hit so hard that he was almost cut in two. The would was so deep that the blood didn't even fall for several moments. Severus turned, searching for the next one and saw that it was already gone. It had disappeared into the forest.

"Harry!" Hagrid sobbed, touching Harry's head gently, to a wound that was bleeding freely.

"Don't touch him you buffoon!" Severus pushed past him and grabbed Harry's wrist. The pulse was there. He lifted Harry gently and carried him as carefully as he could back to the castle. His face was white as a ghost and dark red blood lined his lips and his forehead. He prayed he hadn't been too late.

Madame Pomfrey, used to strange wake up calls in the night, was not terribly flustered or worried. In her nightgown she led the way to a bed, where he deposited Harry, and sent Severus away to alert the headmaster. Hagrid stood in the hall wringing his hands and rocking from foot to foot.

Dumbledore met him on his way, aware that something had happened. Severus stopped short, feeling weak relief at seeing him.

"Vampires, outside. They attacked Harry. What he was doing out of bed-" Severus started.

Dumbledore wasn't listening, and swept passed him to see Harry. Madame Pomfrey was tucking him in, and led them away from the room and into the hall.

"How is he?"

"Unconscious. He should be fine. I saw no puncture wounds at all, and unless he drank their blood, then I think he just has external bruises that should heal in no time. When he wakes up we will see if he is concussed," she explained.

"Good. Please let us know the results in the morning," Dumbledore said.

"He was visiting me! It's all my fault, he fell asleep and then must of snuck out when he woke up," Hagrid said with a sob.

"Luckily Severus found him quickly. Go back to bed Hagrid, everything is fine now," Dumbled patted his large shoulder and headed back to his office.

Severus followed, needing to know what was going on. Harry was always bending the rules since he started school a few months ago, and he managed to get away with it too easily, just like his father. It infuriated him.

They got to the gargoyle guard and Dumbledore glanced at him with amused eyes.

"You're shaking Severus," he said gently. "Were you scared?"

"No. Adrenaline." Severus snapped, crossing his arms defensively.

"I see. Come in," Dumbledore led the way up, walking slowly and allowing Severus time to compose himself.

"How did they get so close to the castle?" Severus asked, thinking aloud. Dumbledore sat down and watched him pace the length of the room.

"Perhaps the question is not how, but who? Who helped them get there?" Dumbledore asked, his bony fingers running along his chin.

Severus stopped and looked at him.

"Quirrel? You think he did it?" Severus asked.

"There are many possibilities, but he is a probability." Dumbledore said softly, a dangerous gleam in his eye. "We shall wait. He's going to make his move and we will be there to catch him."

"But what about..."

"He'll be fine. He's made of tougher things than some delicate child from a wizarding family," Dumbledore said fondly.

"Perhaps." Severus was a little caught off guard by Dumbledore's lack of concern. If he wasn't worried then it must be alright. "Good night."

"Goodnight. Oh and Severus. Thank you."

Severus nodded and trudged down the steps and toward his own room. He was very shaken by the events that had taken place. He wasn't sure why but he was very angry. It was a little disconcerting. He went to bed but didn't manage to get much sleep that night.

End of Chapter 3.


	4. Chapter 4

Transfixed Chapter 4

by Chezaswulf

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Author's Comments: I added more to this chapter so if you read it already please read it again^.^ It just felt too short after rereading it...

The type of magic that Severus was weakest at had always been charms. He was a natural at hexes, potions were a walk in the park, but he was a little slower at the everyday spells. Because of this when he was attacked in school he would have to think of curses that weren't deadly to bring to his defense, because he didn't always have the guts to hit someone with his full strength. He eventually got the hang of the ones that he needed to gain a bit of wary respect by his fourth and fifth year, but by then he had drifted closer to his destiny beside the Dark Lord.

He remembered a time before he knew how to protect himself properly, when a girl with wild curly hair had approached him. She had a sneer on her face, and her pale blond sister beside her. They both had an edge to them, but the brunette had a powerful personality. James Potter was showing off nearby and the girl watched him trip over himself.

"Careful Potter, you don't want to turn yourself into something wicked with that wand sticking out of your pants!" She had cackled like mad, and Severus had felt a keen sense of rightness. This was someone that even Potter didn't want to deal with. James had made a face at her and Severus, and turned back to Remus who was looking quite nervously at Bella.

Bellatriix Black had been impressive, not only for her quit tongue but also her skills in the Dark Arts. She caught up with Severus in no time and competed for top spot in Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She had often scoffed about how that class should have been just Dark Arts, and how she could teach everyone a thing or two about curses. Severus had been put off by her, since he knew he could beat her any day. Her strong will was something that was impossible for him to go up against back then, but it worked in his defense more often then not, and eventually he used her to keep himself protected around people like James and Sirius. Keeping a low profile, even among his own friends, Severus became like a shadow, not gaining any more attention than necessary.

The only thing he noticed was that when he was around Lucious, Bella and their crew, Lily's face was very stiff and angry. She wouldn't speak to him, and eventually they moved down their separate paths and never spoke again. He had liked the feeling of having friends, a support group, and people who knew what it was like to only care about magic, and have no interest in muggles. For Severus, having a muggle father was deeply disturbing, and he wished he could change that.

Severus opened his eyes, and realized he had fallen asleep at his desk. He was aware that he had class soon and he had to get himself changed and ready. He was out the door when he realized he left his wand on his dresser, and had to go back to get it. When he got to class he waited fifteen minutes before remembering that it was Monday and his first class started after lunch. He sighed, raking his hair back off of his face. It was enough to make him go insane. The day had just begun and he was so completely distracted that he couldn't make a move without realizing he had forgotten something. He was infuriating himself.

Severus needed a break from Hogwarts, he needed to ask Dumbledore to have a vacation. He was losing his mind. Sometimes he felt like his life had begun in that castle, and when he had been gone he had missed it, like he was connected to it. It had a feeling like home to him, and like the Dark Lord he wanted to somehow stake a claim in it. Many wizards had come and gone there, but few of them could really appreciate what it meant for a half wizard like Severus, to really love the place. He wandered through the corridors, and down to the library. It was deserted, except for Madame Pince, who watched him with beady eyes as he loomed in the doorway, and then wandered in and out of the aisles peering into the shelves to see if there was a book he had not read. There were very few. As soon as he became a teacher he was allowed access to the restricted section and went through them one by one until he had read all of them. Dumbledore had not even raised an eyebrow. When Madame Pince had caught him there day after day she not been impressed, and actually seemed to become distrustful of him since then. Of course working for the Death Eaters probably had not helped his reputation. He hardly paid it any mind.

He left the library, ignoring the indignant sniff as he exited. He somehow ended up down at the Hospital Wing, and bumped into Dumbledore just outside the door.

"Ah. Severus, Harry is still asleep, but he hasn't even gotten one get well card yet! Fortunately I left one for him to see when he wakes up." Dumbledore paused and handed him a box of Every Flavored Beans. It was not his favorite.

He walked into the hospital wing, and was shocked to find Harry wide away, alert, and a little disturbed to see Severus Snape standing there. His eyes were brilliant in the sunlit room, wide and innocent with a little bit a mischief in them.

"Ahem." Severus said awkwardly.

"Snape- Ah, p-professor," Harry had gone from completely pale to a little red in a matter of seconds.

Snape glared at him. He was clutching the box of beans in his fist and cursing Dumbledore's insincerity.

"You saved me." Harry said, his head lowered. "Dumbledore said you stopped them..."

"He..." told me to. Severus stopped himself from saying it because Harry was actually thanking him. Without so many words.

"Here," he finally said, putting the box of beans on the nightstand beside Harry's bed. He noticed the boy had so many gifts on the nightstand that there was hardly room for the small box. He realized that it was time for class, and his watch started to call out for him to get going. Harry's surprise was comical, but Severus didn't forget that he had grown up with that muggle sister of Lily's. That miserable girl, she was nothing compared to Lily, and her looks were that much worse. There was really nothing to say about it in any case, and he had already gone further than he had intended thanks to Dumbledore.

Harry gave him a measuring glance, full of expectation.

"I hope you've learned your lesson about sneaking out of the school. There will be a detention for it, Potter. Come to my office after you get back to your classes. You need to learn respect for authority," Severus said, glaring at Harry.

The boy had clenched his jaw, looking very irritable, but it seemed to be more comfortable now that Severus was fulfilling his role as Harry's antagonizer. He really felt satisfied being able to pick on such a child. Harry was weak, but brave, and a troublemaker who put himself in harms way, then managed to find ways to get himself and his friends back out of it. Such a child was temperamental and emotionally unbalanced, and wanted to get attention if only unconsciously. He was starved for attention like a stray cat someone had tossed out. People couldn't help but love a strange and twisted person like that. Harry had no parents, which sometimes seemed a little odd to Severus who had known both of his parents in such a personal way. He hated them, yet he had been so tied to them, from their youth to their deaths, he had been tied to them. It made him feel oddly stuck with a strange responsibility, as much as he loathed it. He was going to have to find a way to protect Harry and yet help him grow strong at the same time.

"I was just visiting Hagrid, I don't see what the problem-"

"The problem is there is a strict curfew at this school, and you are not above following that curfew. If you don't want to be killed I suggest you follow the rules and stay in your dormitory after bed time," Severus was really getting his back up now, but Harry watched him mutinously for a moment. Finally he seemed to deflate a little.

"Alright. I'll stop visiting Hagrid. Happy?" Harry said sullenly.

Severus knew that Harry was very attached to Hagrid, and couldn't understand why. The man was an overgrown child, capable of very little and not much going on upstairs. Yet he was very good with wild animals, so perhaps Harry was another one of those rare breeds that Hagrid so adored. It made sense if he thought about it.

"Ecstatic." Severus said with a sneer. He swept from the room without another word. Perhaps he had made his point, because for once he had gotten through to Harry. Even still he wouldn't hold his breath until the next time.

End of Chapter 4.


	5. Chapter 5

Transfixed Chapter 5

by Chezaswulf

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Author's Note: If you have nothing nice to say, then go grow up before u continue to read. I am writing for fun so please don't take it too seriously. I am not Mrs. Rowling. K thanks bye.

Severus was under strict orders from Dumbledore to do nothing, which was always the worst order one could get. However Severus was better at following orders than anyone else, to a suicidal degree. The man had him wrapped around his finger, but Severus had nothing else to lose. Sometimes he liked to think of himself as a dark knight. Of course if anyone heard him say that aloud he would surely make them laugh. But being on the good side felt... well good. He was acknowledged for his efforts, and knew that everything was for Lily. Well of course in terms of the great scheme of things no, not for her directly. But for him it was all he cared about. That was his one and only weakness, and he allowed Dumbledore to exploit it for the greater good.

Sometimes, secretly, he wanted to loosen the bonds that chained him there. The years had made them heavier, and he was eager to be free from the pain. It was getting harder for him to keep himself focused, and even more so now when he just wanted to end it. He watched the lights dimming in the halls, the sun setting, and all he thought of was his death. He was tired. Why did everyone else die and leave him behind. His mother, Lily, friends from school, the ones who had not survived the first war. His father's death had been the only good one. The Dark Lord's had left him numb, confused.

He had been so enamored with the power of the Dark Lord, enchanted by its ferocity. He had wanted to be one of those wild wolves that hungered for the hunt and the kill. He had tasted the blood and wanted more. But it had been too much for him, and when he got too close, everything had been destroyed.

Severus shook himself, distancing himself from these bleak thoughts. He had too much to do, there was no time to linger. Dumbledore wanted him to find those vampire and kill them. He had looked into this before, but now he had a purpose. Killing something that was supposedly immortal took a degree of power that he alone did not possess. This job was going to take all of his skill. Of course he alone had been asked, and that had made it a matter of pride. He had been sent on missions like this before, and he was able to catch up with his anger and frustrations and overcome them in those moments when he succeeded.

Severus donned his black cape, and slipped out of his room. The air was cold when he got outside but he didn't feel it. He was alone and he liked it that way. The night was still, but he didn't allow himself to enjoy it or pay it any attention. He was going to be out there all night, so he had to move quickly. He walked quietly, tracking the signs of disturbances in the forest. He noticed a tree that had a broken branch, bark gone from the next one, and messy blood streaks on the next one. He didn't assume that this was not a trap, which made him twice as paranoid, checking up when the signs went down, and looking left if the signs pointed right. This wasn't exactly his specialty, so he had to be that much more careful.

The vampires must have been there recently because he could see human sized foot prints but they were deeper than normal footprints. He continued through the forest, listening carefully and trying to watch out for any interference from any other creatures. At one point he had to evade the centaurs when they sauntered through. He could hear a couple of them passing, and had to take cover, his wand ready just in case. Centaurs were the best at tracking.

"I can smell them near," One gruff voice said, the sound of hooves clacking on stone and roots.

"Yes, and something else..." the second voice was close to the tree where Severus crouched.

He held his breath. Fighting centaurs was not in Dumbledore's agenda. Their powerful legs could trample him easily, and using magic against them was more harmful than helpful. He respected their beauty and their magic, even if he couldn't help but distrust them instinctively.

A noise nearby distracted them.

"Only a spider... they are getting out of hand recently..."

"Yes, let's show them the boundaries of our territory..."

They charged through the brush but more graceful than any other creature he had seen, barely brushing by the bushes and branches around them.

He carefully moved in the opposite direction, choosing his steps with slow progress. He had lost the trail because of the centaurs and now that they were there he had to give up for the night. It was nearly dawn already, and he made his way back carefully. Nothing more happened, but now he knew more than he did before.

He made his way to Dumbledore's office, not sure whether he should report now or later. It was something of a rumor among the staff that Dumbledore didn't sleep much, and would always welcome guests at any time of night or day. Hesitating he stopped outside of the gargoyle that seemed to grin at him in a ghoulish way. He sneered back.

"Severus, you're back," the headmaster came up beside him with a whisper of his robes, and Severus jumped. He hadn't been expecting the headmaster to come out of nowhere.

"Ah yes. I wanted to report back but I wasn't sure if you were awake..." he said slowly, finally feeling the chill from his long walk in the woods.

"Of course, come in and have a hot drink..." he led the way up the stairs, with Severus trudging close behind. He regretted coming as soon as he got up the stairs because he felt exhausted. However he welcomed tea happily and it soothed his throat.

"The Centaurs were out prowling so I had some difficulty following the trail at one point, I think are searching as well but I can't be sure," he reported.

"I see. Of course, they would be the first to know about anything in the forest.." Dumbledore scratched his beard.

"Sir, if the vampire is who you say it is, then perhaps I should go during the day and find their resting place."

"As long as it doesn't interfere with your classes then that would be fine," Dumbledore nodded. "But perhaps you should get some rest before we make any further plans. Off to bed now."

They had finished their tea, and were both beginning to wilt and yawn, so Severus made his way down the chilly stone stairwell. He got a chill that ran down his spine but ignored it. He wondered if he could have gotten sick while walking in the damp grass, but shrugged. It was important to complete his job and be able to continue on the next day. He had classes, and he had to deal with other things that had been going on. There were so many things he had to do, so he had to try and go to sleep. The tea had made him even more groggy. He lay in bed, slipping in and out of consciousness, then finally feel asleep, and having dreams that he wouldn't remember in the morning.

* * *

Severus swore he searched the entire forest by the weekend, without any results. The vampires that had attacked twice, were still out there prowling and possibly killing muggles in nearby towns. Since he wasn't having any luck Severus decided to make his way to the local wizard pubs, entering late at night to where he had been only a handful of times to the Boars Head pub. He disliked the mixed company that wandered there, but at times when he needed to hear gossip and whispers he held his own in the shadowy corners and dusty booths. Sometimes he could trade a strong potion for a tale, and other times he could bully, bribe, and banter. It was something he had been surprisingly good at when he put effort into it. He had to be ever diligent and cautious about his identity. He usually wore a navy blue cloak and a wig that he procured at Borgin and Burkes years ago, made of horse hair. Not the most stylish thing, but certainly believable at night. If he smiled and showed his teeth, nobody ever recognized him at all.

To his slight discomfort Luscious Malfoy was there, in his own skin, not trying to hide himself at all. He was talking to a man who was obviously one of the Ministry politicians. He could hear their lowered voices clear across the room, because of their tone. Luscious had a very demanding personality and he liked to throw his money around to get his way. Severus watched them, wondering what Luscious had been doing since the Dark Lord's defeat. His hair was coming loose and flying around his face. He wondered if the two had been drinking there for long.

He moved closer, unnoticed because of the partially crowded room, and the boisterous conversations all around him. He sat casually, moving very little, and listened while he drank pumpkin juice.

"Well those things are simply useless, Luscious, and I must implore you that the minister would be satisfied if you could help us with this business more thoroughly since you had agreed," the man slurred his way through his speech.

"I already helped you with the funds. I haven't gotten my part of the deal yet..."

"Of course, you shall be compensated. Now let's have another round before we call it a night," the man stumbled up, heading to grab the bartender and order.

The men rambled on, talking randomly, and he strained to hear more. It seemed they were done talking business already so he couldn't tell what else they might have been plotting together. Luscious was not one to do things half heartedly, but since the Dark Lord had been gone, Luscious seemed to be thriving. Of course Severus looked at him now and wondered if he had been mistaken. Luscious was sloshed to oblivion and had no sense to stop drinking even though he was alone.

Severus approached and didn't even try to speak to Luscious before putting a hand under his arm and leading him out of the bar. The man was oddly light for his size. Severus pushed back his cloak and wig, and looked at Luscious again waiting for him to realize who it was who had forced him outside.

"You!" Luscious said with a slightly glazed look.

"You're drunk Luscious. Go home." Severus said, though he knew it was pointless. Luscious was his senior in every way, superior and twice as slippery as Severus himself. Those were his good qualities, and Severus never wanted to be on his bad side.

"I don't have to take orders from you. You double crosser. You two faced snake..." The man was cursing him in German now, going back and forth between languages. It was interesting to hear, although Severus had no idea what he was saying.

"Fine," Severus grabbed tight to Luscious and disapparated.

They reapparated at Severus' parent's house, which he had noticed was beginning to lean slightly to one side with age. Or maybe he was imagining it. In any case he opened the door and led Luscious inside. The man stumbled and caught himself on the small table just inside the door. Laughing he led himself to Severus' couch and lay down.

"What do you think of him? Harry Potter," Luscious said with an attempt at a laugh.

"Nothing much. He has very little natural talent and yet he's just as arrogant as James," Severus said, sitting across the room, in shadow. He knew his face gave nothing away, but his heart was racing.

"Draco told me that he's the teacher's pet at Hogwarts. Except in your class, of course..." Luscious said.

"Of course," Severus said smoothly. Luscious gave him a long look and then glanced around the small room.

"Are you ever glad that _he's_ gone?" They both knew that this was not a topic that was easily discussed. It was murky just like their lives had become since he had died.

"Are you?"

They sat in silence, both thinking about the Dark Lord, and wondering what would have happened if Harry Potter had not somehow killed their one time master. They hated Harry Potter, because it was expected, but the result of what had occurred had altered their lives so drastically that they could hardly help it.

The sheer terror that they had helped the Dark Lord spread was like a wildfire, and he had inspired terror in every witch and wizard that served him, and they were the lucky ones. Did that mean they weren't loyal, not necessarily. They all had their own goals in mind, their own petty desires. Whether it included killing Potter or not, they had yet to decide.

Luscious was looking old, and Severus couldn't believe how both of them had aged. Time had been kind to Luscious, his skin had barely a line on it, and he had the same long thick hair as ever. His clothes were immaculate, satin and silk, and deep blue to match his eyes. It was always that way with the Malfoys. Severus had met Luscious' father once, and had been very surprised at the dignified wizard clad with more goblin jewelry than he had seen in any one place. It had even capped the long wand he held at his side. When they met at the platform, Severus had felt a stab of jealousy so sharp he couldn't hide it. His mother had not betrayed anything but he saw her eyeing the blond Malfoys as well. They were almost like the Snape's polar opposites, yet he had decided to somehow become friends with him. Of course he sat with Lily on the train, which had probably made him a target before he even stepped into Hogwarts. Strange thing jealousy could do to people.

"Did you ever think of getting married?" Luscious asked Severus, his eyes closed.

"No... I-" Severus had a sinking feeling in his gut.

"Well don't. It's just a lot of trouble..." mumbled Luscious, sinking further into the couch.

Severus sighed, and glanced over to Luscious who seemed to have fallen asleep. He trudged up to his room but as predicted he didn't sleep much that night.

End of Chapter 2.


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